Star Trek has had only one animated series over thirty years ago (Star Trek: The Animated Series).  The next Star Trek TV show should be an animated series because of the success of Star Wars: The Clone Wars shows this sort of animation can work.  Also, Star Trek needs to create a new generation of Star Trek fans if the franchise is to survive in the future and animation is especially popular among younger viewers.  I would like to make the following proposals for a new Star Trek animated series:

1) The Romulan War

This animated series would be set in the time period after the events of Star Trek: Enterprise but before events of Star Trek: The Original Series.  The Federation is engaged in a long protracted cold war that occasionally turns hot with the Romulans!

2) The Borg versus the Dominion

This series is set in the future about two centuries after Star Trek: The Next Generation in the 26^th century (see figure above).  The Dominion has evolved into a peaceful empire that coexists with the Federation but is also a cultural and economic rival.  However, the Federation due to the Dominion War two hundred years earlier does not totally trust the Dominion.  Warp drive is advanced enough that travel using star ships between galactic quadrants is possible.  The Romulans and Klingons are now part of the Federation rather than adversaries!

The Borg Empire has attacked the Dominion in a full scale assault along the entire Delta border of Dominion space!  Should the Federation aid the Dominion against the Borg or stay out and focus on strengthening its own defenses against the Borg?  The Vulcans prefer a wait and see strategy.  The Federation cannot easily send ships directly through the Galactic Center due to a super massive black hole and the stellar density of the center and must veer traffic towards the Gamma or Delta quadrant and cannot charge down the middle between the two quadrants.  However, a project to create a star ship that can handle the Galactic Center has been underway and the war creates new pressure to complete this project.  Could there be radically different life forms in the center of the galaxy?

Even if the Federation decides to take an active role should forces be sent toward the Gamma quadrant to aid the Dominion in their territory as the humans prefer, or should the Federation attack Borg territory as the Klingons prefer?  The Federation is caught in the middle of a final war that will decide the future of the Milky Way galaxy!  Some even argue that the Federation should play a Machiavellian strategy and aid the side that is losing, whichever side that may be, at any given time, so a war of attrition that destroys both the Dominion and the Borg is achieved.  If the Dominion and the Borg destroy each other then the Federation will rule the galaxy and this is what the Romulans want.

The “Children of Data” are not biological children but androids that have been made possible due to advances in the creation of neural interfaces after the unfortunate fate of Lal in the episode “The Offspring”.  The Children of Data occupy many worlds in the Federation and are prominent members of the Federation.  The Children of Data have evolved to a level of intelligence that causes them to have agendas and thoughts that are difficult for the organic life forms in the Federation to understand.

Some Children of Data follow the way of flesh and have even experimented with organic implants. Reverse engineering of Borg technology by the Dominion ironically leads to research that allows the addition of increasingly sophisticated organic implants to android life forms.

Some of the Children of Data follow the way of light and believe non corporality is the ultimate evolutionary step the galaxy should pursue and may have aid from the very mysterious Organians that are rumored to reside in the center of the galaxy.  The inaccessibility of the Galactic Center may provide privacy for beings of pure thought!  The massive black hole in the Galactic Center may be the ultimate form of transportation for beings without mass!

This series would be titled Star Trek: Galactic Evolution.  This series would chronicle not just a journey through space but an evolutionary journey at the galactic level.  This series could use or not use 3D CGI animation but should borrow stylistic lessons from animated space sagas like Macross and Neon Genesis Evangelion but take these lessons to a new level.  The frenetic comedic laden style of the very successful Teen Titans Go! should also be seen as a model for this new show that will attract a new generation that has grown up with computers and smart phones and requires a higher level of visual stimulation than past generations.  Viewers should be able to participate with series related content in an immersive and meaningful way online!

3) Star Fleet Academy

This series is set about twenty years after the events of Star Trek: The Next Generation.  The great grandson of the legendary Captain James T. Kirk is attending Star Fleet Academy.  The great grandson is called Tiberius.  Tiberius is called “T” by his friends.  Admiral Jean-Luc Picard has retired from active duty and is now the Dean of the academy.  Tiberius has a dark secret from his years as a teenager on an outpost in Federation space that was relatively lawless, impoverished and bordered Klingon space.  Tiberius is a lot stronger than a human should be and also has a nasty temper!  T has a lot to prove and can be impetuous but also has a lot to offer.

4) Star Trek vs. Warhammer 40K

This show will never happen but I would watch it!

My Mother’s Story

G-20 is the hot new girl band in Thailand!  I predict they will achieve Asian and international fame soon!

Below is a very cute video of one of the singers, Gift G-Twenty, doing Itsy Bitsy Spider:

Alan Moore is one of the top comic book writers of all time.  Alan Moore uses many specialized techniques to entertain the reader including superhero universe reboots but another technique he uses to make his stories especially engrossing is the novel use of point of view (POV) in his narrative.  Moore uses alien POV, hallucinogenic POV, intelligent ethically ambiguous POV, stream of consciousness POV, and a story within a story POV in order to make his fiction more interesting.

Alien POV

Dr. Manhattan is Superman type character in the series Watchmen and exists simultaneously in the past, present and future as part of his superhuman condition.  Dr. Manhattan may have been human at one point but due to an accident became a being that is growing distant from humanity.  Ozymandias on Dr. Manhattan, “If there’s one thing in this cosmos that that man isn’t capable of doing it’s having a political bias. Believe me… you have to meet him to understand. I mean, which do you prefer, red ants or black ants?” Dr. Manhattan can also make multiple versions of himself and does this for practical purposes but also because this is a point of view that he finds interesting.  Dr. Manhattan can perceive subatomic particles that exist for nanoseconds.  Dr. Manhattan has developed a nihilistic view of reality due to his superhuman perceptions that is shared by very few human beings but The Comedian is one of them (see Figure 1 below).

Figure 1- Watchmen #4 (of 12) – Page 20

Dr. Manhattan is so removed from the human POV that he almost does not intervene to save the world from WW III (see Figure 2)!below

Figure 2 – Watchmen #9 (of 12) – Page 11

And true love does not change his mind but instead he has some sort of eureka experience related to human individuality relative to probability (see Figure 3 below) and this insight causes him to try to stop WW III.

Figure 3 – Watchmen #9 (of 12) – Page 28

The Swamp Thing discovers in Swamp Thing, v2, #21, the first issue of this character that Alan Moore wrote, that he is actually a plant not a human and this knowledge causes him to change how he views  humanity and temporarily flip out and commit his first murder.  Alan Moore decides to turn a superhero that was a man with plant features into a plant period with a plant POV!  This story is aptly titled “The Anatomy Lesson” and is a POV driven plot (see Figure 4 below).

Figure 4 – Swamp Thing V2 #21 – Page 13

Alan Moore decided a superhero even more removed from humanity would be more interesting.  The Swamp Thing can also perceive and move through “The Green” which is some sort of dimension that contains the consciousness of all plant life.  As a plant and later an elemental, the Swamp Thing sees the human struggle between good and evil in a larger transhuman context.  Humans are one of many species and the welfare of humans at the expense of the environment is not acceptable.

In a two issue story arc, the story is told from the POV of an alien that happens to be an Earthling!  In “Mysteries in Space”, Swamp Thing, v2, #57 and “Exiles” Swamp Thing, v2, #58, Adam Strange is the hero of planet Rann.  The inhabitants are more advanced than Earthlings and have difficulty doing “primitive” things like fighting and procreating.  Adam Strange has slowly become aware that the Rannians see him as an ape-man errand boy and the statute erected in his honor as the hero of Rann is a façade to flatter him into doing their bidding.  There is plenty of action in the story but Adam Strange’s internal dialogue about he is perceived in the Rannians is actually more interesting.  In the end his relatively, to Earthlings, Rannian girlfriend, Alanna Strange, is found to be pregnant and this is the first pregnancy in quite some time on Rann.  The Earthling “alien” has done the “job” he was probably recruited and manipulated for in the first place (see Figure 5 below)!

Figure 5 – Swamp Thing V2 #58 – Page 23

Another story of Swamp Thing tells the story totally from the point of view of an alien!  In “Loving the Alien”, Swamp Thing, v2, #60, an alien that is a planet made of biomechanical material is telling the story of her courtship of the Swamp Thing.  I guess alien biomechanical planets have a hard time finding suitable mates and all prior attempts at failed and often caused the death of the potential mate.  Swamp Thing tried to escape but she used a “chronofracture” which reverses time to get a second chance at catching the Swamp Thing and she has her way with him.  She transfers all the information biological and otherwise into her reproductive system and voila little baby aliens that want to hear the story of their mothers courtship and mom wonders if dad would love his children if he had gotten to know them (see Figure 6 below)!

Figure 6 – Swamp Thing V2 #60 – Page 19

Miracleman is another Superman type character radically rebooted by Alan Moore who reflects on his superhuman condition has changed how he views the world.  Even his “father” who is a genius by human standards cannot understand the perspective of Miracleman in the opinion of Miracleman (see Figure 7 below).

Figure 7 – Miracleman 07 #1440 – Page 16

Miracleman’s perceptions evolve and he recognizes his superhuman condition probably distances him from humanity and he sees this as a negative (see Figure 8 below).

Figure 8 – Miracleman 16 #1440 – Page 29

The Miracleman’s universe includes two alien empires including the Qys and the Warpsmiths. The Qys can change bodies the way we change clothes and this radically changes their sense of self.  This ability changes the aesthetic of the Qys so radically that they are ruled by what to a human would seem like a giant monster (see Figure 9 below).

Figure 9 – Miracleman 13 #1440 – Page 5

The Warpsmiths have the power of teleportation and with this power also perceive time very differently than humans.  There are hints that this power changes how they perceive the universe and their role in the universe (See Figure 10 below).

Figure 10 – A1 Ghost Dance Warpsmiths

For Alan Moore, superpowers are not just tools for fighting crime but create sensibilities that change POV radically.  The daughter of Miracleman realizes that Miracleman’s perspective is too human for her growth and development as a superhuman and leaves her father to go live with the Qys despite being a newborn (see Figure 11 below).

Figure 11 – Miracleman 14 #1440 – Page 7

Skizz is a character that Alan Moore created for 2000 AD.  Skizz resembles an E.T. the movie sort of alien and one biker actually refers to Skizz as being like E.T. in the movie.  Skizz is an interpreter and not very formidable physically and we get to see Earth from the point of view of an alien that finds us barbaric (see Figure 12 below).

Figure 12 – Skizz – Page 14

More than any other comic book that I am familiar with, the story of Skizz revolves around the POV of an alien rather than relying on action for plot delivery.

In Swamp Thing v2, #32, “Pog”,  Alan Moore treats us to an alien that in a manner similar to Skizz provides an alien point of view in which we are seen as barbarian but even more than that a savage planet.  On the planet of Pog, even different species of animals coexist but in our planet a cartoonish crocodile will be eaten real crocodiles (see Figure 13 below).

Figure 13 – Swamp Thing V2 #32 – Page 17

There is a metafictional aspect to Pog since Moore is comparing two types of comic book universe not just aliens and Earthlings.  The comic strip Pogo universe of Walt Kelly is being compared with the grittier Vertigo universe that Swamp Thing inhabits.

In Swamp Thing v2, #61, “All Flesh is Grass”, Swamp Thing meets a Green Lantern (Medphyll) on his alien home world in which plant life is sentient.  The title “All Flesh is Grass” is from the Bible and refers to the transitory nature of existence.  The story is told from the POV of Medphyll and the reader is treated to a description of an alien world of sentient plants and the art, religion and plant based architecture of the planet are described in detail.  The Green Lantern oath reflects the plant POV of the ring bearer:

“In forest dark or glade beferned,
No blade of grass shall go unturned.
Let those that have the daylight spurned,
Tread not where this green lamp has burned.”

The Swamp Thing is the horror from the stars in this story and we are reminded that what is a hero or a monster is a matter of perspective.  The Swamp Thing inhabits the form of Medphyll’s deceased and beloved teacher Jothra and the Swamp Thing and the reader are given a tour of this very interesting planet (See figure 14 below).

Figure 14 – Swamp Thing V2 #61 – Page 18

Aliens like Dr. Manhattan, the Swamp Thing, Miracleman, Skizz and Pog view the world in a radically different way that in turn change how they think.  Super powers do not just let the character smash mountains but change how the characters perceive mountains and this is actually often more interesting.

Alan Moore wrote three stories about the Green Lantern Corps for DC Comics.  In the story “In Blackest Story”, Tales of the Green Lantern Corps Annual #3 (1987), the Green Lantern Katma Tui has a very difficult time explaining the whole concept of the bright light of Green Lanterns fighting darkness because the alien, Rot Lop Fan,  Katman Tui is talking to cannot see and has no concept of light (see Figure 15 below).

Figure 15 – “In Blackest Night” Tales of the Green Lantern Corps Annual #3

In “Mogo Doesn’t Socialize”, Green Lantern, v2, #188, the bad guy cannot find the Green Lantern until he realizes the Green Lantern Mogo is not an inhabitant of the planet but the planet itself (see Figure 16 below)!

Figure 16 – “Mogo Doesn’t Socialize”, Green Lantern #188, v2 – Page 6

In “Tygers”, Tales of the Green Lantern Corps Annual #2 (1986), a hyper rational Green Lantern, Abin Sur, fails to understand how a demon of the Empire of Tears, Qull of the Five Inversions,  can use his perceptual abilities that combine clairvoyance, cunning and an understanding of mortal psychological weaknesses in order to create a death trap with words alone.  Abin Sur feels protected by his scientific world view but in fact the supremely evil POV of the demon allows the demon to murder Abin Sur even though the demon is imprisoned and should be helpless (see Figure 17 below).

Figure 17 – “Tygers”, Tales of the Green Lantern Corps Annual #2 – Page 12

In all three Green Lantern Corps stories, there are two aliens that have such radically different states of being that their POV makes mutual understanding difficult.  The Green Lantern Corps are aliens.  Moore realized the rich potential in exploring the alien side of the Green Lantern Corps rather than treating them like Earth based super humans that happen to look funny due to a third eye or some other cosmetic difference between the alien and us.  The Green Lantern Corps stories are even more POV centric than the other superhero stories mentioned previously.

Alan Moore develops the Alien POV idea even further in the Omega Men series.  The Omega Men are a team of extraterrestrial superheroes in a solar system other than that of Earth called the Vegan system.  Alan Moore did two back stories for the series that take place in the Vegan system but do not involve the Omega Men directly.  In “Brief Lives”, Omega Men #26, the Spider Guild, giant intelligent spiders, try to conquer giant aliens in the planet Ogyptu that live for millennia and move, think and perceive the world at a glacial pace, literally.  The entire invasion by the Spider Guild over a thirty year period is barely perceived by the giants.  The invasion fails because the POV of the giants is so radically different than that of the Spider Guild that the invasion cannot even be perceived and therefore cannot be successful (see figure 18 below).

Figure 18 – “Brief Lives”, Omega Men #26 – Page 27

In “A Man’s World”, Omega Men #27, a female xenobiologist, or possibly an anthropologist since she mentions the rules of inter-system anthropology, studies a tribe called the Culacaons that reproduce minus women.  The female alien named Leelyo pays the ultimate price for not understanding the POV of the males in the tribe.  After probably three rereads, the reader figures out that the males of the Culacaons stab giant snails and plant their babies into the giant snails. The reader can infer that the Culcaon male stabs
poor Leelyo and probably deposits the children in her body after stabbing with
her with his Gamugha stick. Apparently, the male tribesman sees the female alien not as a fellow humanoid but as more similar to the giant snails and deserving similar treatment.  From the POV of the male Culacaon Leelyo is more like the giant snails than like him!  This story is widely dismissed as a very poor story.  However, if you reread the story then the horrible truth of the story becomes apparent and the true meaning of the title, “A Man’s World” becomes horrifyingly apparent (see Figure 19 below)!

Figure 19 – “A Mans World”, Omega Men #27 – Page 24

Hallucinogenic POV

Swamp Thing was radically changed during his tenure under Alan Moore.  The Alan Moore Swamp Thing has tubers growing from his body that more or less has the same effects as peyote.  In “Rite of Spring”, Swamp Thing v2, #34, the Swamp Thing gives his girlfriend Abby Arcane a tuber in order to educate her about his perception of the Earth via The Green (see Figure 20 below).

Figure 20 – Swamp Thing V2 #34 – Page 12

In “The Return of the Good Gumbo”, Swamp Thing v2, #64, the Swamp Thing again gives his soon to be wife Abby Arcane a tuber to eat since nothing says love like hallucinogenic tubers.  Abby is literally eating a part of her lover and has hallucinations that help her understand how the Swamp Thing perceives the world and they also have really good sex (see Figure 21 below)!

Figure 21 – Swamp Thing V2 #64 – Page 14

In “Windfall”, Swamp Thing v2, # 43 a hippie named Chester found a tuber lying around the swamp and brought it to Baton Rouge.  Pieces of the tuber end up in a woman named Sandy painfully dying of cancer and she hallucinates a luminous body free of pain and is transported to a radiant heaven like garden in which she dies in the arms of her husband (see Figure 22 below).

Figure 22 – Swamp Thing V2 #43 – Page 19

A sleazy drug pusher named Milo has a really bad trip and hallucinates some of the very ugly and evil villains the Swamp Thing has encountered.  The tubers as parts of the Swamp Thing apparently contain the memories of the Swamp Thing at some level (see Figure 23 below).

Figure 23 – Swamp Thing V2 #43 – Page 18

When Chester finds out what happened to Sandy and Milo he theorizes that the tubers bring out what is in your as a person.  Good people have good trips.  Bad people have bad trips.  Chester ponders whether or not to take what is left of the tuber and decides not to.

In V is for Vendetta, the lead detective, Eric Finch takes LSD at the shut down concentration camp Larkhill.  The psychedelic imagery used is disturbing and unnerves the reader.  Finch hallucinates the naked torsos of a man and a woman perched on barbed wire (see Figure 24 below).

Figure 24 – V For Vendetta #9 – Page 4

Finch hallucinates wearing the striped garb of a prisoner.  Finch has a hallucination about a crowd of black people, presumably killed at the camp and they are friendly towards him but ultimately move away from him and disappear into a wall.  Finch is then transported in to his middle class house but this is also a hallucination.  Finally, Finch takes off all his clothes and experiences freedom from social constraints in the center of Stonehenge.  Stonehenge may or may not be a hallucination.  Eric Finch is using the LSD experience to help him understand how V thinks and to some extent succeeds.  V is an anarchist and Finch does develop an understanding of freedom that helps him in turn understand V.

In DC Comics Presents #85: “Superman/Swamp Thing: The Jungle Line”. Superman is hallucinating due to an infection by a Kryptonian fungus and has flash backs about Krypton that reveal a great deal to the reader about how Superman handles his Kryptonian heritage.  Swamp Thing is perceived as an enemy due to the hallucinations and is almost destroyed.  Some of the more interesting hallucinations Superman has are talking with his empty Clark Kent clothes and the empty suit explains to Superman that he is dying and furthermore that he is nothing special.  Superman seems to suffer from Survivor guilt which manifests in his hallucinations (see Figure 25 below).

Figure 25 – DC Comics Presents #85 – Page 13

Swamp Thing can enter the hallucinatory world of Superman because this world is in part generated by a “plant”, strictly speaking a fungus is not a plant, and the Swamp Thing takes Superman into “The Green” which breaks contact with the scarlet jungle of the fungus Superman was dying in.  In this plant dimension the Swamp Thing soothes Superman so he can sleep and this allows Superman to recover.

Alan Moore returns to the use of a hallucinogenic plant as a central plot device a third time in “For the Man Who Has Everything”, Superman Annual #11.  This is of course the second time Moore has Superman hallucinating due to a “plant” (see figure 26 below).

Figure 26 – Annual Superman V1 #11 – Page 12

A large alien plant called the Black Mercy has Superman trapped in a coherent hallucinated world on the planet Krypton and this is supposed to be his deepest desire.  This is the Krypton that would have happened if Krypton had not blown up.  Superman has never been Superman and has a Kryptonian brother and a niece.  This alternate world is supposed to be what the person really wants but soon turns ugly due to Kryptonian xenophobia and presumably this is the unconscious of Superman trying to free himself from the grip of the Black Mercy.  Batman also ends up with the plant on his chest and in his hallucination he is in a world in which his parents were not killed.  Finally, the bad guy, Mongul, ends up with the plant on his chest due to Robin.  Mongol has a hallucination of a world of endless conquest and Superman’s head on a pike.

In all the stories examined, the person hallucinating does gain insight that is often helpful.  The hallucinations are not always pleasant but generally reveal truths rather than being random and meaningless.

Intelligent Ethically Ambiguous POV

Generally in comic books the hero is simplistically good and the villain is simplistically bad.  Alan Moore departs from this practice and presents antiheros.  Comic books have any number of muscular tough guy antiheros like The Punisher and Wolverine but generally ruthless intelligent characters are invariably super villains.  Alan Moore uses intelligent antiheroes that present a compelling argument for ruthless action.

Ozymandias is a major character in Moore series Watchmen.  Ozymandias is considered the smartest man in the world. This very intelligence forces him to see the world differently than his fellow superheroes that are not as intelligent.  Ozymandias is at the upper limits of human intelligence but probably does not possess super intelligence.  The only Watchmen superhero to really agree with the actions of Ozymandias to save the world is Dr. Manhattan who probably possesses out and out super intelligence.  Ozymandias manages to save the world from WW III but kills millions in New York do accomplish this task.  The reader is allowed to share the triumph of Ozymandias directly and the background picture of Alexander the Great cutting the Gordian Knot is intentional (See Figure 27 below).

Figure 27 – Watchmen #12 (of 12) – Page 20

V in V is for Vendetta is an antihero and is a powerful fighter but what makes him really dangerous is his super intelligence.  V uses strategy to take apart the fascist party Norsefire that rules Great Britain.  V commits various acts that may be considered unethical.  V kills a Bishop, Anthony Lilliman.   However, the bishop is also a pedophile so that’s probably ok.  V kills a doctor, Delia Surredige.  Dr. Surredige has clearly repented for her sins in the concentration camp V was in.  Killing a woman is generally not done by heroes.  Killing someone who has reformed is also not generally done by comic book characters.  V also kills the hired help of Norsefire that happens to be in the way.  V doesn’t do comic book things like use stun guns, non lethal Karate chops, or shoot their pistols out of the hands of henchmen.  Generally V throws knives into the hearts of the henchmen.  Killing the hired help is something the Punisher and Wolverine also do so this is not new ground for a comic book antihero.  V does imprison and torture Evey, a girl he had saved previously, and even used as a side kick.   Evey is clearly an innocent.  V tortures her to set her free by toughening her up!  V does provide the reader with a very eloquent defense of his actions (See Figure 28 below).

Figure 28 – V For Vendetta #5 – Page 9

V and Ozymandias are intelligent men that employ ruthless means to accomplish noble ends and we are privy to their thought processes which generally is the POV of a super villain like Doctor Doom not a hero and this use of POV forces the reader to go beyond the simple structures of good and evil normally associated with comic books even comic books with antiheros.

Stream of Consciousness POV

Comic book writers did not employ stream of consciousness in early comic books.  The use of stream of consciousness is a narrative technique that is employed more and more in comic books in the present.  Alan Moore makes extreme use of an interior monologue in all of his comic books.  Rorschach’s internal monologue is used extensively in Watchmen.  However, Alan Moore pushes the comic book envelope of stream of consciousness in A Small Killing.

Alan Moore has used a stream of consciousness POV exclusively in A Small Killing and the narrative the use of images from the inner world of the protagonist.  There is very little action in A Small Killing and we follow the protagonist as he is haunted by a ghost like child that is presumably a hallucination of himself as a child.  However, there is a hint that the child might be an actual ghost rather than a hallucination (see Figure 29 below).

Figure 29 – A Small Killing – Page 11

Incredibly I didn’t care about the nature of the child because the protagonist is an unlikeable whiner and I am sad that the “ghost” child did not succeed in killing the protagonist.  A slow read that is POV technique driven to the point that reading pleasure is sacrificed for art.  The favorite device for exploring stream of consciousness for Moore seems to be via the use of hallucinogens by the characters in his stories which is already discussed in detail in the prior section of this essay.

Story within a Story POV

Alan Moore often employs the metafictional device of a story within a story in order to give his narrative added depth and complexity.  In Watchmen, one of the children is reading a comic book about pirates called the Tales of the Black Freighter and the bleakness of the story makes the already “real” story of the Watchmen even more nihilistic and acts a plot juxtaposition device.

Miracleman was programmed in a reality that resembled a superhero comic book.  The adventures of the Miracleman family in this virtual reality can in turn be self contained stories.  There was a Marvelman comic book published in Great Britain in the fifties and from the perspective of the Moore series, those adventures took place in a virtual reality which explains the lack of “reality” in those adventures.  Miracleman is also a comic book fan and comic books are part of the narrative but this device was exploited more by other writers after Moore such as Neil Gaiman in Miracleman: Apocrypha.

Alan Moore’s Supreme has many metafictional layers but I will stick to the story within a story elements.  In the Supreme comic book, Moore’s Supreme has the secret identity of Ethan Crane who works Dazzle Comics on a character named Omniman that is being rebooted.  In reality, Supreme is a Superman character that is being rebooted by Alan Moore.  The comic book within a comic book is a parallel story! Eventually Supreme even has a fight with his own comic book creation in Supreme #53.  Supreme becomes a character in a comic book that fights Omniman (see Figure 30 below) but of course there is a “logical” explanation and a Szazs, a Mister Mxyzptlk,  clone, is the cause.

Figure 30 – Supreme #53 – Page 6

In The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, Moore creates an entire universe made up of fictional characters from novels.  This is not exactly a story within a story device but is a metafictional device.  Basically Moore’s League invention is a pastiche of prior stories!

Conclusion

Alan Moore uses certain novel POV techniques with different characters in different comic book series in order to consistently make his stories more interesting.  There is a synergistic effect created by using so many POV techniques within a single narrative.  The combination of POV techniques causes the reader to feel transported to an unnerving and alien reality and upon reflection the cause of this feeling is hard to pin point but I would argue the POV techniques are a major cause.  POV drives plot in many instances.  How the character perceives reality not only explains the behavior of the character but often acts as the deus ex machina of an Alan Moore story.  The character must behave a certain way because of their perceptions.

Alan Moore uses caption boxes instead of thought bubbles to show the thoughts of the character.  This allows for lot more information to be expressed.  Alan Moore uses a lot of caption boxes relative to speech bubbles compared to other writers and this shows that POV is more important to Alan Moore than other writers.

Many of Alan Moore’s comic books have been made into movies including some discussed here (Watchmen, V is for Vendetta).  The art and text attempting to show the POV of Dr. Manhattan is one of the high points of this series that was not really explored in the movie and this lack of the comic book POV devices made the movie less interesting in many ways than the comic book series the film was derived from.

Investintech.com has developed three new mobile applications for PDF conversion and creation. Not only are they compatible with both iOS and Android mobile devices, but they are also 100% free and very easy to use. The mobile app is the same as the desktop conversion tool Able2Extract PDF Converter.

The three mobile applications are:

Able2Extract PDF Converter - Converts PDF files to and from Microsoft Word, Excel, PowerPoint and Text.

Able2Doc PDF to Word - Converts PDF files to MS Word.

Sonic PDF Creator - Creates PDF documents from Microsoft Office format files.

The conversion process is pretty user friendly.

Once you select the document you want to convert, the rest of the process takes just two steps:

1) Open the file

2) Choose the type of conversion.

And that’s all there is to it.

All the files are located on one, central menu, from which they can easily be opened, shared or deleted. The converted files are secured and privacy is guaranteed.  If you want to download and try these apps for free, visit: http://www.investintech.com/apps

Links

Hong Kong Disneyland Photos

Tokyo Disneyland Photos

Werefox at Tokyo Disneyland

Contrary to what the picture above may suggest, the Ngong Ping 360 Cable Car experience is well worth doing.  The ride was longer than I expected and gave me and my group plenty of time to enjoy the vistas of both the surrounding mountains and Hong Kong.  The cable car does take several turns at various stations rather than being a straight up and down experience.  Once you get to the top then you can go to a temple and see a traditional Chinese village for tourists.

Homepage

If you are person with a small budget that wants to add a little practical art to their living space then may I suggest buying some Ukiyo-e Noren curtains at Daiso.  I use a lot of utility shelving (Turn
Utility Shelving Into a Great Clothes Rack) as a space multiplier for my
small place in Thailand but this shelving gives my place a warehouse feel that I
don’t like.I flirted with various solutions but ran into these Daiso curtains.  The Daiso curtains cover the shelving, keep out the dust and add an artistic touch to my place.  The curtains are 83 cm (32.6 inches) by 149 cm (58.6 inches).

I spent about 100 Hong Kong dollars at The One in Hong Kong at the Max Valu in the LG 1 floor which is kind of a 12 HK dollar store that sells mostly Daiso goods.  100 HK dollars is 12.88 USD!  So for around thirty bucks I radically changed the look of my apartment.  Below is “A Fine Breezy Day” by Katsushika Hokusai and is no. 4 in the Daiso product line and is one of the Thirty-six Views of Mount Fuji collection.

The next one is “Woman Playing a Glass Toy” by Kitawagawa Utamaro and is no. 3 in the Daiso product line.  The Japanese name is Bidoro o Fuku Musume and literally means a Woman Blowing a Vidro.  The vidro is a glass toy that makes a sound when you breathe through it.

The last one is “The Great Wave of Kanagawa” by Katsushika Hokusai and is no. 5 in the Daiso product line.

Below is the before picture of my apartment shelving.

Below is the after picture of my apartment shelving.

Introduction

I first heard of The 36 Stratagems when I was working on a comic book story with Bruce Lee in 1974.  The story was eventually published in The Deadly Hands of Kung Fu #14 (see cover above).  Bruce Lee envisioned a story that revolved around stratagem three of the 36 Statagems “Kill with a Borrowed Knife” that entails using the strength of another to defeat your enemies.  Bruce knew me from my cinema work in which I played the role of an evil psychologist turning nice Hong Kong girls, among others, into killing machines or worse in the The Evil Dr. Fox series produced by Shaw Brothers Studios.  We had tried again and again to make a “Bruce Lee vs. Dr. Fox” movie in Hong Kong without success.

The comic book was definitely a plan B.  There was a metafictional aspect to our comic book collaboration since Bruce Lee would more or less be playing himself in the comic book story.  I had played heavies in various B films in Hong Kong before the success of the mad psychologist Dr. Fox series.  In hindsight, I realize that using my actual last name as that of the character in that series was probably not a good idea.  I actually was a professor working as an English teacher in a Hong Kong university language center. I did some acting on the side to earn extra money and because acting was also a lot of fun.  I would like to take this opportunity to separate fact from fiction.

The real Dr. Fox cannot do the incredible kung fu stunts that are seen in my movies. I do have some knowledge of martial arts but I am more a theoretician than a practicioner:

Fox Martial Arts Taxonomy

The real Dr. Fox knows absolutely nothing about brainwashing.  If you want to learn English then give me a call but if you want to brainwash your ex-girlfriend to fall in love with you again then I am the wrong person for that task.  Metaschizophrenia, the Bureau of Intelligence Synthesis and corrective reality are all fictions and not real!

A stratagem is often used as a synonym as a strategy and this is an incorrect use of the term.  A stratagem is more correctly defined as a ruse.  However, I think the term ruse is simplistic when applied to the term stratagem.  Based on the historical usage of the word, I would describe a stratagem as a ruse used for military and/or political purposes.  Also, a stratagem is a ruse that has been used for purposes other than mere monetary gain unlike a confidence trick.  For example, the Spanish prisoner con is basically the same as “7) Create Something Out of Nothing. – Turn something that is not substantial into reality” stratagem in the list of stratagems below at an operational level but the contextual historical background is totally different.  Operational similarities aside, the contextual background of the ruse given to the potential user is important for easy applicability.  A con man may have trouble understanding an operation given in a military context.  A military officer might have trouble applying a con explained within a monetary context to a military situation.  One of the recurring plot lines of modern fiction is having cons that are generally used for criminal purposes for government goals as is the case in the popular franchise Mission Impossible.  However, translating operations to a different context may not be as easy as the mentioned franchise suggests.

I would also like to contrast a stratagem with a ruse of war.  For example moving landmarks to confuse the enemy is clearly a ruse of war but I would not call it a stratagem.  Historically, a stratagem has a larger goal than the mere temporary confusion of the enemy.  Perhaps a stratagem is a ruse of war with strategic rather than tactical intent.  I would define a stratagem as a ruse of war with strategic intent.  In short:

1) A con is a ruse for monetary gain.

2) A ruse of war is a ruse for tactical military gain.

3) A stratagem is a ruse for strategic military and/or political gain.

I would like to apply this system of ruse classification to a particular historical example that would have been difficult to classify prior to this article.

In Operation Bernhard, the Nazis counterfeited British pounds in order to destabilize the British economy.  Was Operation Bernhard a con, ruse of war or a stratagem?  Certainly Operation Bernhard was a ruse.  I would argue that Operation Bernhard was not a con since the objective was political and not monetary.  If the goal was to supply Nazi agents with local money in Britain then it would be a ruse of war.  Since the goal was strategic then I would say Operation Bernhard was a stratagem and specifically: “2) Besiege Wei to Rescue Zhao. – Attack their Achilles heel” in the list below.

Feudal Chinese military strategists suggested the study of stratagems as part of basic military education.  The 36 Stratagems is an essay that explains stratagems in detail.  This essay shows how the 36 stratagems have been portrayed in comic books.  The author of this essay doubts the comic book writers were aware of the Chinese text on this subject but learned about the stratagems indirectly and used them largely for plot purposes rather than edification.  An essay of how the 36 stratagems have been used in comic books provides an interesting extension of literary criticism and how theories other than literary theory can help us understand modern media such as comic books.

The 36 stratagems are traditionally broken into six categories with six stratagems per category.  I find the categories are largely useless and create logical confusion.  The rationale for the six categories probably has more to do with Taoist aesthetics than any operational logic.  For example, #31, the honey trap is under the category six of “Desperate Stratagems” but this stratagem could just as easily be classified under category two, “Enemy dealing stratagems”.  For the purposes of utility, the categories have been deleted and a simple 1-36 list has been used instead. 

The Original 36 Stratagems – Contemporary Maxims

1) Cross the Sea by Deceiving the Sky. – Act in the open, but hide your true intentions.

This is the use of a series of false alarms so that when you actually attack then you will have the element of surprise.  Supervillains don’t use this stratagem very much since every time they move then they get caught because of the dictates of a media were the good guys always win.  However in World’s Finest #88, the Joker and Lex Luthor commit a series of crimes that are actually Mechano-Men stunts and not crimes.  In his first appearance in Action Comics V1, #51, the Prankster gives money to banks in apparent bank robberies until he decides to start robbing banks instead when the guard of the banks is let down.  The con version of this stratagem is a Kansas City Shuffle.

2) Besiege Wei to Rescue Zhao. – Attack their Achilles heel.

Lex Luthor has used Green Kryptonite to attack Superman at least a hundred times.  At this point the idiom Kryptonite to signify an Achilles heel is probably better known than the original antecedent idiom.  This only works if the bad guys know the fatal weakness of the super hero.  There can be an irony to the Achilles heel of a superhero as a plot device.  For example, Daredevil is more vulnerable to sonic attack due to his enhanced hearing but this has been kept secret by Daredevil.

The Achilles heel of most superheroes is their loved ones. The Injustice: Gods Among Us explores a universe in which the Joker has killed Lois Lane, Superman’s unborn son and most of Metropolis.   In the comic book, not the video game, that is ongoing, Superman seems to be on the path of creating a dictatorship.  In the comic book, the US government attempts but fails to keep Superman’s adopted family, Jonathan and Martha Kent in a Mirror Master dimension but this attempt fails.  Superman emerges angrier than ever due to this attempt by the US government.  The problem of the loved ones Achilles heel is that once you used up loved ones then your enemy is enraged and stronger than ever.  This seems to apply to real life to some extent.

Iron Man had his armor hijacked by a Hypersonic Scan Transmitter.  Justin Hammer used the hijacked armor to kill an Ambassador while Iron Man was in the armor and effectively framing Iron Man for murder.  Overall, super villains are constantly looking for the weakness of their favorite super hero and will attack such a weakness without mercy.

Green Lantern has a green Power ring that is one of the most powerful weapons in the DC universe but the Power ring has an Achilles heel and that is that the Power ring is unable to affect objects colored yellow.  Sinestro had a yellow Power ring which in turn was ineffective with objects colored green!  This is cute use of the Achilles heel plot device but does seem a little too much in a modern context.  The Earth 2 Green Lantern, Alan Scott,  has a Power ring unable to affect wooden objects.  Green Lanterns have a weapon of incredible power so the only way a fight with bank robbers could not be totally one sided and interesting was to introduce a ridiculous Achilles heel.

Mon-El is a Daxamite.  Daxamites are about as powerful as a race as Superman who is a Kryptonian.  However, the Achilles heel of Daxamites is a vulnerability to even small traces of lead.  Presumably this plot device prevents the Daxamites from taking over the DC universe.  In a similar manner, the Martian Manhunter is more or less as powerful as Superman but is vulnerable to fire!  DC first used Kryptonite to allow interesting plots with a being as powerful as Superman and then continued this practice with Green Lantern, Mon-El, and the Martian Manhunter.  This use of a very fine tuned Achilles heel is a hallmark of the DC Silver age and seems forced nowadays.

3) Kill with a Borrowed Knife. – Attack using the strength of another person.

In Avengers, Vol1, #1, Loki tries to trick the Hulk into fighting Thor but instead ends up creating the Avengers.  Loki bailed out the Cobra and Mr. Hyde and doubled their powers and aimed them at Thor’s Achilles heel, the current love of his life Jane Foster.  Loki has created super villains to fight Thor including the Absorbing Man.  Loki tricked the Silver Surfer into fighting Thor (Silver Surfer, V1, #4).  Loki in Acts of Vengeance attacked the Avengers by creating a team of super villains who in turn used even other super villains to attack the Avengers.  Loki’s true goal was to hurt his half-brother Thor.

Daredevil used HYDRA to destroy the Kingpin’s organization in the Last Rites story arc (Daredevil #297-300).  The Kingpin nearly destroyed Daredevil in the Born Again story line earlier via a series of stratagems so there is a plot symmetry in Daredevil striking back against the Kingpin using a stratagem.

Darkseid has supplied advanced weaponry to Intergang in order fight Earth’s superheroes and to track down the Anti-Life Equation.  Darkseid also created an incarnation of the Secret Society of Supervillains and kept his involvement secret from the supervillains for an extended period of time.  Darkseid knew many supervillains are interested in loot rather than the larger strategic goals he had.

Justin Hammer supplied advanced technology to Iron Man’s adversaries in exchange for fifty percent of the loot the supervillains stole.  Justin Hammer also used stratagem #2 to attack Iron Man.

The Silver age Lex Luthor joins with Brainiac in the Crisis of Infinite Earths to form an army of supervillains.  The Modern age Luthor creates the Parasite, Bizzaro and the cyborg Metallo.  The Infinite Crisis Luthor creates the Society of Supervillains.

4) Relax and Wait for the Adversary to Tire Himself Out. Await leisurely the exhausted enemy. – Exercise patience and wear them down

Doctor Octopus unsuccessfully tried to wear Spider-Man down using the newly formed Sinister Six who attacked Spider-Man one by one in The Amazing Spider-Man Annual #1.  Doctor Octopus hoped that the exhausted Spider-Man would be defeated when he attacked Spider-Man last.

In The Dark Knight Returns, Batman uses this stratagem to fight Superman.  Batman attacks Superman with an otherworldly Batmobile, followed by cruise missiles and finally has Green Arrow shoot Kryptonite tipped arrows to weaken Superman sufficiently so that Batman with his exoskeleton can give Superman a beating before Batman appears to die of self induced heart attack.

5) Loot a Burning House.  - Hit them when they are down.

Attack the enemy when they have internal difficulties.  The Kingpin literally blew up Daredevil’s house after framing him for bribery, destroying him financially and overall attacking him as Matt in the Born Again story arc.  The Kingpin muses that a destroyed Daredevil might serve him!  The Born Again story line also illustrates stratagem #2 and the use of interlocking stratagems, stratagem #35.

Norman Osborn looted Tony Stark’s armory and created the Iron Patriot armor from the loot.  Divide and rule!  Comic books need fights and fights between super heroes like Thor and the Hulk are always popular.  You see a lot of “temporary misunderstandings” between super heroes but after the mandatory six to ten panel fight, the misunderstanding is patched up and the heroes unite to fight the supervillain that created the conflict in the first place.

6) Make a Feint to the East While Attacking in the West. – Fake to the right; attack to the left.

Ozymandias was defeated by the Comedian during their first fight due to a feint.  The Prankster in the Modern Age acts as distraction-for-hire for Superman for a fee while criminals commit crimes.  Batman has been known to “miss” with his Batarang because he is actually going for a ricochet shot.  Daredevil does the same thing as Batman but with his Billy Club not a Batarang.

7) Create Something Out of Nothing. – Turn something that is not substantial into reality.

Vaporware is the modern equivalent of this stratagem.  The Prankster copyrights the English language and then charges fees for use of the alphabet!  Ozymandias tricks the world with a fake alien in order to unite the world in a war against the aliens and stop WW III from happening.

8) Secretly Utilize the Chen Cang Passage (CNC). Pretend to Advance Down One Path While Taking Another Hidden Path (LB). – Pretend to care about an issue and later give it up to get what you really want.

This stratagem is a more specific version of “6) Make a Feint to the East While Attacking in the West. – Fake to the right; attack to the left”.  The difference is that beyond misinformation there is the use of physical baits such as a decoy.  Iron Man, Loki and Dr. Strange all have the ability to make mirror images of their own image in order to confuse the enemy.  If you try to touch the mirror copy then your hand will go through the copy and the copy cannot interact with the enemy so the illusion only creates temporary confusion. This is a type of illusion whether the origin is holographic science in the case of Iron Man or magic in the case of Dr. Strange and Loki.  This power is used in an irregular manner with the characters mentioned.

Mirror Master uses the power in a more consistent manner in order to flee from the Flash who has super speed.  The Mirror Master will often make multiple holograms of himself that flee in different directions.  Flash is fast enough to chase all the holograms so this rarely works but this doesn’t stop the Mirror Master from using this trick again and again.

A slightly different version of this stratagem is the use of robotic copies.  When dealing with Doctor Doom, you never know if you are dealing with Doctor Doom or a robotic copy of Doctor Doom.  While you are dealing with the Doctor Doom robot, the real Doctor Doom can be watching from afar and coming up with some other counter plan.  Robots that are created by Doctor Doom that are exact replicas of Doctor Doom are called Doombots.

S.H.I.E.L.D makes extensive use of Life Model Decoys (LMDs).  Nick Fury LMDs serve a similar function for Nick Fury as Doombots for Doctor Doom. In the case of Doombots and LMDs the problem of controlling the robots has been a plot device.  Your robotic copy can try to supplant the original!  Max Fury is an LMD that has played a prominent role in the Marvel Universe.

Tony Stark (Iron Man’s secret identity) is probably the second greatest user of LMDs after Nick Fury.  Tony Stark was paralyzed and used the Neuromimetic Telepresence Unit 150 (NTU-150) to act as a remote controlled version of Iron Man.

In the film X-Men: The Last Stand, Magneto has Multiple Man  make multiple copies of himself and the copies act as a decoy while the real Brotherhood escapes.

9) Watch the Fire Burning from Across the River.  – Allow them to fight your other enemy while you rest and observe. Later, defeat the exhausted survivor.

Ultra Boy, of the Legion of Super-Heroes, used covert means to trick Mordru into attacking Glorith in order to stop Glorith from taking over the universe (Legion of Super-Heroes Annual (vol. 4) #1).

10) Conceal a Dagger in a Smile.  – Befriend them to get their guard down, then attack their weakest point.

The Batman has some very charming enemies.  The Joker often smiles and even laughs as he kills his victims.  The Joker also likes to make his victims smile while they die as well with his patented Joker venom.  The Riddler is another smooth talking rogue that is an enemy of Batman.  Ra’s al Ghul treats Batman as a worthy opponent and calls Batman detective out of respect.

Ra’s al Ghul has a daugher, Talia al Ghul, does more than smile for Batman and has given Batman a son!  Talia seemingly becomes an ally of Luthor and runs LexCorp while Luthor is President but secretly sells LexCorp to Wayne Enterprises in order to ruin Lex Luthor.  However, Talia is a ruthless criminal that will fight Batman.

Ozymandias is very genial even as he battles Rorschach, Nite Owl and Silk Spectre.

11) Sacrifice a Plum Tree to Save a Peach Tree (RM). Let the Plum Tree Wither in Place of the Peach Tree (TF). – Trade up! Take a small loss for a large gain.

Super villains are more than willing to sacrifice henchmen for any sort of advantage or just kill them for fun.  Probably the worst super villain boss is the Joker who gets a kick out of shooting, electrocuting and poisoning henchmen left and right.

12) Take Away a Goat in Passing.  – Take advantage of every small opportunity.

The Taskmaster is an interesting super villain who decided a lot of small opportunities with small risk is a better idea than the big score.  The Taskmaster runs a school for henchmen.  In general, super villains do not think small and do pass up small opportunities.  The biggest opportunity that super villains pass up is licensing their technology.  If the technology is stolen then this makes sense but in the case of criminal masterminds like The Mad Thinker and Egghead, you have to wonder why they don’t focus on being a the next Bill Gates rather than wasting their time on crime.

13) Beat the Grass to Startle the Snake.  – Stir things up before beginning to negotiate for your true interests.

Ok, this is the application of stratagems to a type of genre that generally relies on fist fights for plot development.  No one said this task would be easy.  I am going to revise this as distraction as a tactic or even super power in a comic book.  Deadpool has officially been classified as a character with the super power of distraction by a major super villain, Taskmaster.  Spider-Man consistently keeps up a line of personal to funny chatter while fighting that unnerves opponents.

14) Raise a Corpse from the Dead (LB). Borrow a Corpse to Return the Soul (TF).   - Revive a dead proposal by presenting it again or in a new way.

This stratagem means take something from the past and giving it new relevance.  I guess the Chinese knew endless reboots of everything from Spider-Man to Iron Man were going to be part of the future!  This may be number #14 in the list of stratagems but in comic terms this stratagems is number #1!

Comic books love updating old weapons!  The Atomic Knights use medieval armor after WW III!  Hawkman likes to use archaic weaponry.  Green Arrow and Hawkeye use trick arrows.  Batman uses Batarangs, boomerangs and shurikens, in his utility belt.  Captain Boomerang and Boomerang use trick boomerangs.  Whiplash uses a technologically enhanced whip.  Wonder Woman has her Lasso of Truth. Comic book heroes and villains delight in taking and old weapon and adding new technology to the weapon so a trick version of the weapon is created.

15) Lure the Tiger out of the Mountain. – Seek a neutral location. Negotiate after leading them away from a position of strength.

Super heroes don’t really rely on forts and mazes to take care of their enemies.  Batman has the Batcave and Superman has his Fortress of Solitude. However, the last thing super heroes want is supervillains visiting their lairs.  Incredibly the opposite happens and super heroes wander into the stronghold of villains all the time.  At least once every three years, the Fantastic Four visits Latveria the stronghold of Doctor Doom.  This is not just a lair but a whole country that Doctor Doom controls so probably visiting Doctor Doom in Latveria is not a good idea but that doesn’t seem to deter the Fantastic Four in the least.

Doctor Doom may have a nation on his side but Luthor tops that big time by having a whole planet on his side!  In the Silver age, In Superman Vol 1, #164, Luthor challenged Superman to a fight on Lexor.  Lexor is a planet that has a red sun so Superman has no powers on Lexor!  Also, on Lexor, Luthor is a hero and Superman is considered a villain!  In Superman, Vol 1, #168, Luthor even manages to find some ancient technology that allows him to temporarily gain super powers on Lexor!  Lexor is an extreme example but supervillains are often luring the super heroes into their lairs in order to have them fall into some death trap or another.  This is especially the case with Batman.

Arcade is an assassin for hire that uses custom built amusement parks filled with deadly traps named Murderworlds in order to kill superheroes.  Arcade has a sporting side and does deliberately leave a small chance for escape from his deathtraps.  Arcade at one time or another has tried to kill Adam X , Angel, Apex, Avengers Academy, Chase Stein, Colossus, Courtney Ross , Darkhawk, Dazzler, Deadpool , Doctor Doom, , Excalibur , Gambit , Green Goblin, Hazmat, Hercules, Human Torch , Iceman, Impossible Man., Iron Man, Johnny Blaze, Juston Seyfert and his Sentinel, Kid Briton, Meggan, Mettle, Micronauts, Nara, Nico Minoru, Nightcrawler Northstar,, Red Raven III, Reptil, Shadowcat, Shatterstar, Spider-Man, The Thing, Wolverine, X-23 , X-Factor, X-Force , X-Men  and the Young Allies.

Deathtraps are a comic book cliché and part of the cliché is the supervillain’s monologue that allows the super hero time to escape.  Why doesn’t the supervillain just shot the capture super hero?  The answer is that the super hero needs to escape for plot purposes.

16) Let the Adversary off in order to Snare Him. To Capture the Enemy, First Let It Go (RM).  – Do not arouse their spirit to fight back.

In Silver Surfer Vol 1, #5, there is a Tales of the Watcher back story, titled “Run Roco Run”.  Roco ends up serving a life sentence in Jupiter but is hypnotized into believing he has escaped and therefore no longer tries to escape!  This story is a retelling of “Run, Rocky, Run!” drawn by Bob Forgione in Tales to Astonish (Marvel, 1959 series) #26 (December 1961).

17) Toss out a Brick to Attract a piece of Jade. Toss out a Brick to Attract Jade (RM). -Trade something of minor value for something of major value.

In Irredeemable, the Hornet gives the Vespan aliens a list of other habitable planets that they can conquer in exchange for leaving Earth alone and imprisoning Plutonian, a super hero gone bad.  Hornet is ironically a Batman type super hero without super powers but via this stratagem turns an alien invasion around and defeats the Superman type hero Plutonian.  With the right stratagem, the weakest member of the team physically can be the most important team member in terms of results.

18) To Catch Bandits, Nab Their Ringleader First. To Catch the Bandits, First Catch Their Ringleader (RM). – Convince the leader and the rest will follow.

Supervillains do love to kidnap the President of the US.  Occasionally, supervillains take over the UN in order to blackmail the whole world and not just the US.  Overall, the comic book world of super heroes and supervillains is very egalitarian and chaotic.  For example, Superman isn’t really the leader of the super heroes but kind of a moral guide.  Reed Richards is supposed to be the leader of the Fantastic Four but he definitely has to run things by the other members especially his wife the Invisible Woman.  The Avengers has a rotating leadership but Captain America generally acts as an informal leader on the battlefield at the tactical level.  The X-Men do have a real leader, Professor X and occasionally Professor X is targeted as a leader.

There is no real leadership structure for the supervillain side either.  Norman Osborn did create the Cabal which led to the Dark Reign storyline.  The Cabal did effectively control most of the supervillains in the Marvel Universe and Hawkeye did try to assassinate Osborn (Dark Reign: The List – Avengers) and hoped that this would bring the Cabal down but failed.  Lex Luthor became the President of the US and during that period could call on an army of supervillains in order to take out Superman and Batman but that didn’t last long.  Leadership for both the bad guys and good guys in comic books is a network lacking central nodes that can be removed to take down the whole system.

19) Remove the Fire from under the Cauldron.  – Eliminate the source of their strength.

The source of power for some super heroes is certain environmental conditions.  If you can’t find any Kryptonite then you can always remove the yellow sun which is the source of Superman’s powers.  Lex Luthor does this to Superman twice in Superman Vol 1, #164 and #168.  In World’s Finest, Vol 1, #163, the villain Jemphis turns the yellow sun of his planet into a red sun via atomic explosions activated by a button on his person.

DC has Aquaman who will lose his strength and die if he is out of water for extended periods of time.  So of course super villains are always trying to dry dock Aquaman!  Marvel has Namor the Submariner and has a similar weakness to Aquaman but while Namor’s strength will diminish out of water, Namor will not die out of water.

Green Lantern has a Power ring that is one of the most powerful weapons in the DC universe.  However, the power ring needs to be recharged every 24 hours from a battery that looks like an old style lantern.  Hide the lantern and you can take out the Green Lantern.  Problems with the lantern are a central plot device in Green Lantern V1, #9, #20, #32, #74, and and #116.  If you want to take down the whole Green Lantern Corps then take out the Central Power Battery which charges all the other lanterns.  When Hal Jordan went mad temporarily, he destroyed the Central Power Battery and effectively destroyed the Green Lantern Corps.

The best article on the internet about comic book weapons at:

DC vs. Marvel: Weapons

20) Muddle the water to catch the fish (TF). Gathering Fish from Troubled Waters (LB). – Do something surprising or unexpected to unnerve them, and then take advantage of that situation.

The Joker does crazy stunts that keep Batman and other supervillains off balance.  Deadpool is a Marvel supervillain that does similar stunts.  Crazy gives supervillains an advantage in the comic book world.

21) The Cicada Sheds Its Shells. The Golden Cicada Sheds Its Shell. The Cicada Sloughs Its Shell (RM).  – When you are in trouble, secretly escape.

The idea is to escape but leave the lights on so the enemy still thinks you are home.  In the Young Justice TV series, most of the Justice League and all of the heavy hitters have to appear before an off planet court.  In episode #33 titled “Depths”, Young Justice impersonates the Justice League at a Mars satellite launch in order to fool any super villains that might be watching into thinking the Justice League is still on Earth.

22) Fasten the Door to Catch a Thief. – Lock the Door and Catch the Thief (RM). – Completely destroy them by leaving no way for escape.

Prisons are largely ineffective in comic books since jailed supervillains do not make good reading.  Arkham Asylum seems to be a place where the Joker rests between bouts with Batman rather than a place of incarceration.  An extreme solution to problem of bad guys breaking out of jail in the DC universe was explored in the Salvation Run miniseries.  The DC supervillains are imprisoned on a distant planet. The same off planet imprisonment solution was applied to the Hulk but failed spectacularly in the World War Hulk story arc.  Over in the Marvel universe, Iron Man decides enough is enough and with Reed Richards creates a prison in the in the Negative Zone labeled Project 42.

23) Befriend a Distant State While Attacking a Neighboring State. Befriend Distant States While Attacking Nearby Ones (RM).  – Build strategic alliances with others that will give you the upper hand.

In the TV series, Young Justice, The Light is a group of supervillains that ally themselves with the Reach, aliens, that they plan to betray after they destroy the Justice League and Young Justice i.e. superheroes on Earth.

In Irredeemable, the Hornet makes a deal with Vespan aliens to take out, a super hero gone bad, named Plutonian.  Hornet also gives the Vespan a list of other habitable planets that they can conquer in exchange for leaving Earth alone and imprisoning Plutonian.

24) Borrow a Safe Passage to Conquer the Kingdom of Guo (LB). Attack Hu by a Borrowed Path (RM). – Temporarily join forces with a friend against a common enemy.

Spider-Man has had any number of temporary team ups with any number of superheroes in Marvel Team-Up for plot purposes but generally the rationale if any is offered is stratagem 24.  Batman basically does the same thing over at DC albeit not as consistently as Spider-Man in The Brave and the Bold comic book series starting in issue #50, volume 1, and more notably in the TV series Batman: The Brave and the Bold.  In general, Super heroes are better team players and friends than super villains.

Supervillains are always trying to betray their partner.  Marvel had a title named Super-Villain Team-Up and actually generally ended up being the supervillain betrayal of their team member.  The Secret Society of Supervillains has always been much more unstable than their counterpart the Justice League.  Norman Osborn was very briefly able to unite the Marvel supervillains via the Cabal but that system soon broke down in part due to psychic sabotage of Osborn’s sanity by Loki, a fellow Cabal member.   Any favor done by one supervillain to another super villain must be treated with suspicion.  For example, in Superman, Vol 1, #167, Luthor increases Brainiac’s intelligence from a 10^th level to a 12^th level but puts in some hardware in Brainiac’s computer brain that allowed Luthor to control Brainiac!

25) Steal the Dragon and Replace with the Phoenix (CNC). Steal the Beams and Pillars and Replace Them with Rotten Timber (LB). Steal the Beams and Change the Pillars. – Sabotage, incapacitate, or destroy them by removing their key support.

If you take the saying literally which is not necessarily correct then Catwoman has been known to leave a fake jewel in the place of a real jewel she has stolen so the owner doesn’t know they have been robbed.  Supervillains love to blow things up.  That is kind of what comic book supervillains do and there are too many examples to list here.

26) Point at the Mulberry Tree but Curse the Locust Tree. – Convey your intentions and opinions indirectly.

The Riddler literally talks in riddles.  The Etrigan the Demon talks in rhyme and his true message is difficult to understand.  These are not so much examples of ruses but aspects of the characters of the villains presumably created to make them more interesting.

27) Feign madness, but keep your balance. Pretend to be a Pig in Order to eat the Tiger (CNC).  Play Dumb (LB). Feign Ignorance and Hide One’s Intentions (RM).  – Play Dumb, then surprise them. Let them underestimate you.

Superheroes often have secret identities.  Clark Kent is the secret identity of Superman and in order to fool Lois Lane, among others, Clark will play the part of the bumbling idiot.  Bruce Wayne is the secret identity of Batman.  The role of Bruce Wayne is played in such a way as to convince others that Bruce Wayne cannot possibly be Batman.  Bruce Wayne often feigns drunkenness in particular.  Bruce Wayne has been know to use models who don’t speak English as alibis.  Tony Stark is the secret identity of Iron Man but is not feigning drunkenness but actually has a drinking problem and is probably a sex addict problem as well.

My last name is fox and I am going to translate this stratagem as the idioms “clever as a fox” or “crazy like a fox”.  Batman’s enemy, the Joker is probably actually crazy rather than pretending to be crazy but do not underestimate the Joker!  Batman has a lot of enemies that appear crazy but are actually pretty effective as super villains.  Two-Face has some sort of personality disorder that causes him to flip a coin during crucial moments in the struggle with Batman.  The Riddler has a compulsion to leave a riddle about his crime before doing the crime.  Announcing your crime however cryptically is probably not a good characteristic of a criminal.  The list Batman enemies that suffer from criminal insanity just goes on and on and about half his enemies are housed in the Arkham Asylum for the criminally insane and actually belong there rather than faking madness.  What we learn from Batman is that being nuts might actually give you an advantage in martial situations.  The Batman nutcase situation differs from this stratagem in that his opponents are really crazy rather than feigning craziness.

28) Remove the Ladder after your ascent (LB). Lure the enemy onto the roof, then take away the ladder. Cross the River and Destroy the Bridge (CNC). – Lead them into a trap, then cut off their escape.

Luring Batman into death traps is a Batman cliché at this point.  The Batman TV series used a death trap cliffhanger in a formulaic manner that became boring over time.  The nemesis of Austin Powers, Dr. Evil has a pathological need to use death traps.  The son of Dr. Evil, Scott Evil states the reason he never kills Austin Power is “Because you never kill him when you have the chance and you’re a big dope”.

29) Decorate the Tree with Fake Blossoms. Flowers Bloom in the Tree (RM).  – Reframe deceitfully. Expand the pie with objects of little value.

When Doctor Doom was a young and fun loving gypsy, he sold luxury goods that appeared to be of great value to the local nobility using sorcery.  When the luxury goods disintegrated then the local Baron was not happy!

30) Turn Yourself into a Host from Being a Guest. Host and Guest Switch Roles (RM). – Turn your defensive and passive position into an offensive and active one.

This is a bit of a stretch but super hero sidekicks start out as the guest of the super hero and then often become super heroes in their own right.  However, the original super hero almost never retires.  Robin can become Nightwing but Batman isn’t going anywhere!  The best article ever written on the topic of comic book sidekicks at:

DC vs. Marvel: Sidekicks

31) Use a Beauty to Ensnare a Man. – The honey trap. Beauty Trap (RM).  Provide alluring distractions.

Obadiah Stane used Indries Momji as a honey trap to destroy Iron Man.  Indries Momji causes Stark to fall in love with her and breaks his heart in order to cause him to resume his alcoholic ways leaving Stark Industries and its Iron Man technology easy prey for Stane.  Loki used Lorelei in “For the Love of Thor” story line to manipulate Thor.  In the 1978 graphic novel by Stan Lee and Jack Kirby titled the Silver Surfer: The Ultimate Cosmic Experience, Galactus created a golden clone, Ardina, of his true love Shalla-Bal, with Silver Surfer powers in order to successfully force the Silver Surfer to become his herald again.

32) Open the Gate of an Undefended City. The Empty City Stratagem (RM). – Deliberately displaying your weakness can conceal your vulnerability.

In The Dark Knight Returns by Frank Miller, Batman muses how he has a bright yellow target on his chest so the bad guys will aim at his chest where he has a bullet proof vest rather than his difficult to armor head.

33) Use Adversary’s Spies to Sow Discord in Your Adversary’s Camp. Turn the Enemy’s Agents against Him (RM).  – Provide inaccurate information to mislead them, especially through informal channels.

In Fantastic Four #2, Reed Richards and the rest of the Fantastic Four pretend to be Skrull spies and trick the Skrull captain with pictures from Journey into Mystery and Strange Tales into believing Earth is defended by monsters.

34) Inflict Pain on Oneself in order to Infiltrate Adversary’s Camp and Win the Confidence of the Enemy. Self-Torture (RM).  – Appear to take some hits. Feign weakness while arming yourself.

In The Dark Knight Returns, Batman pretends to die of a self induced heart attack in order to fake his death and get off the radar.  This is the third instance of the use of a stratagem in The Dark Knight Returns and perhaps this is one of the reasons among many this work is a masterpiece in the world of comic books.

In researching this stratagem I found out there is a lot more self inflicted pain in comic books than I would have imagined!  Captain Carnage pretended to be a super villain in order to get beaten up presumably for masochistic reasons in the Watchmen universe.  Etrigan the Demon also presumably has masochistic tendencies.  Penance has a superpower that requires pain on his part to work!  When the flesh of Penance is raked with one of the 612 internal bolts in his suit, he can project explosive blasts from his body!  OMG!  Who comes up with these characters?  Odin sacrificed his right eye to gain wisdom from Mimir as how to stop Ragnarök (Twilight of the Gods) in Thor #274 (August 1978).

35) Lead Your Adversary to Chain Together Their Warships. Stratagem on Stratagems (RM).  – Devise a set of interlocking stratagems to defeat them.

The Kingpin discovered Daredevil’s secret identity (Matt Murdock) in the born Born Again story arc.  The Kingpin then launched several lines of attack at the same time.  The Kingpin uses his influence to have the IRS freeze Murdock’s accounts.  The Kingpin also has the bank foreclose on his apartment.  Finally the Kingpin coerces police lieutenant Nicholas Manolis to testify that he saw Murdock pay a witness to perjure himself.  The Kingpin overreaches himself when he blows up Daredevil’s house.  At that moment Daredevil realizes the Kingpin is behind the attacks on Matt Murdock and must know his secret identity.

36) Retreat is the Best Option. If All Else Fails, Run Away (RM). – Purse your BATNA.

Old Man Logan decides that when faced with a world that the super villains have taken over then it’s time to retreat to a little patch of land rather than get killed. Old Man Logan does eventually get around to fighting another day and killing all the villains!   Supervillains run away from super heroes all the time but the reverse is rarely true.  Even allowing supervillains the option of retreat is considered an unacceptable stratagem for super heroes.  In Thunderstrike Vol 1, #2, the hero Thunderstrike allows the Juggernaut to just go away rather than having the city get destroyed in a fight and is later admonished by Captain America.

Conclusion 

What is surprising upon the analysis of stratagems in comic books is how rarely stratagems are used by supervillains.  If I was a supervillain fighting the likes of Superman and Thor then I would use every trick in the book.  Even the criminal masterminds like Luthor, the Kingpin and Loki do not use stratagems all that much.  My theory is that comic books are still largely a visual medium and it’s hard to “draw” a stratagem.  A fist fight is more interesting visually than a stratagem.  Also, the comic book writers may have a limited knowledge of stratagems.  A systematic comparison of cons, ruses of war and stratagems might yield interesting and synergic results conceptually which in turn would have practical value in competitive situations.

Wall’s (Ice Cream) is a British based company that sells its products everywhere.  Wall’s has released a three in one ice cream that gives you three different tastes of Asia in one great package.  The first flavor is green colored and matcha green tea.  Green tea ice cream is common in Japan but not so common outside of Japan.  Green tea has a different flavor than black tea and matcha is a particular type of Green Tea.  Wall’s has done a good job of capturing this flavor.  The second separate piece of ice cream is salacider!  I doubt very many people in the US have any idea what salacider is but it’s the ubiquitous red soda of Asia.  All kinds of small bottlers in Asia make this flavor.  The last flavor is milk tea which is kind of Western but in this case it tastes more like Japanese milk tea than British milk tea.  I bought my Wall’s three in one at a 7-11 in Thailand and I am hooked.  It looked like green sherbet, strawberry and chocolate and I was shocked when I ate the ice cream, pleasantly shocked.  You get bored with the same old ice cream flavors no matter how great and this Asian delight is a nice change of pace and a more sophisticated taste combination.  I doubt you can get this ice cream in the West and if you want an ice cream with a distinctly Asian direction then I suggest you keep your eyes open next time you are in Thailand!

Gamma ray slivers hotter than the sun slither into reptilian DNA

Godzilla roars into fractured chasms of a fusion psyche

A billion millipede eyes crawl through wire, space and time in cybernetic unison

The noise of their innumerable clanging feet scampers with a wispy cunning IA/AI into the null set

A mango tinged Chanel No. 5 scent mixes with petrol fumes enthralling before poisoning

Beyond the titans, beyond leviathan, a crooked giant shambles towards the abyss smiling wildly before the final leap

Caves built upon other caves create a gravestone across the blue marble that circles around the star which in turn circles other stars in lonely indifference

Pop goes the culture

Stoic maneuvers are for squares

Serious talks in musky coffee houses with woeful long hairs, how passé..

With a feline gesture I wave adieu

Picture of Legend Brewery above which is at nr  4 Vu Ngoc Phan, Hanoi, one of the few breweries that are known to expats in Hanoi because of the previous German brew master.

The following article was submitted to my blog for publication by Jonathan Gharbi.  Jonathan is the Founder of the beer blog www.beervn.com and he is based in Hanoi, Vietnam.  This article is in response to my earlier article on Microbreweries in Asia.

Since I came to Vietnam, for 1,5 years ago, a newer ending search for good beer and breweries has been going on. After almost a year I realized that there is no imported ale, ipa, stout etc to be found in Vietnam despite 95 millions of beer interested inhabitants. Beer consumption here is high and everywhere you find people drinking beer. In northern Vietnam and Hanoi, the streets are filled with small plastic chairs and tables where people drink bia hoi from lunch time until late evening. Bia hoi is a light beer only with the most basic ingredients, quick and easy to produce which has around 3-4% alcohol and can also be produced easily at the restaurants.

Then some friends who used to meet every Wednesday in Hanoi and drink beer introduced me to the breweries. I was chocked the first time I went to Hoa vien brewery in Hanoi, one of the oldest breweries here, was this really true, do they brew and sell two kinds of beer, full of malt and hops in a real brewery.

Pictures of Hoa vien brewery and their three beers, Hanoi

I don’t think people understand how it is here in Vietnam, the economy is struggling and many businesses are going bankrupt. The normal price for a glass of tasty beer at one of the microbreweries here is about 35 000 – 40 000 VND (ca 2 USD) it’s not reasonable for the regular worker with a monthly income of 150 USD to consume beer with these prices. Some breweries are really struggling to maintain their production while some already have down scaled. There are a couple of thousands of expats living in Vietnam and their consumption of beers is to low to justify an import unless it’s consumed by locals also. Many expats does not know about the existence of these breweries, they are often unseen in media, on the web and some of them also lack English speaking staff which makes it difficult for foreign customers.

There are about 20 microbreweries in Vietnam whereof about 15 are placed in Hanoi, all are either brewing Czech or German styled beer. The explanation is that Vietnam had strong relations with former DDR and Czechoslovakia and today the largest groups of Vietnamese diasporas is to be found in Germany and Czech republic.

Dunkel, Lager and Munich from Legend brewery (German inspired) at 222 Tran Duy Hung, Hanoi.

Black and blond beer from Goldmalt brewery (Czech inspired) at 17 Van phuc, Hanoi.

As mentioned before, they are unknown for most locals and in particular for foreigners, partly because of their low profile but also because the breweries don’t know what good products they have. All the beer are brewed and sold in same place. Only three breweries sell their beer in another pub/restaurant, so unless you visit them there is no chance to taste the beer.

A couple of days ago I was driving around in Hanoi on my motorbike and saw a small sign which said something in Vietnamese with the word PLZEN in it. It looked like any regular restaurant here but I went in to see if they had any beer. Two minutes later I was standing by the taps and was trying three different kinds of Czech beer. Brewed and served at same place. There are only 20 breweries I know off so far but guess after this experience that there are plenty more to be found.

Two of the three beers served at Nha hang plzen at 167 pho Hoang Ngan, Hanoi.  Is it a seafood restaurant or a microbrewery?

Some breweries have 1-3 percent of foreign customers but some breweries below 1 % which I hope will change later on. Some breweries produce amazing beers, black beer almost like a full bodied stout and lager beer with plenty of malt and charisma. But without homepage, no advertisement or defined as regular Vietnamese restaurants at facebook, there is no chance for a foreigner to find them, in many cases, not even for a Vietnamese. In Europe or North America they would be defined as microbreweries or brewpubs, nothing else. Several times I have asked for the name of the brew master at the breweries which I found out is a very odd question here. The regular answer from the staff is “you mean the guy that makes the beer, I have no idea”.

That’s why I started my beer blog and the brewery tours, to enlighten all beer enthusiasts of all the microbreweries in Vietnam and to encourage the breweries to continue their fantastic work so we can continue to enjoy wonderful beer. If you travel to Vietnam, there is plenty too see but most important of all, it’s a reason to come here only for the beer.

Do Peruvian giant yellow-leg centipede (Scolopendra gigantea) make good pets? This is my story. I received Curly, the name of my centipede when I was fifteen in 1972 from my uncle Manuel.  My uncle had snuck the centipede past customs from Peru because he had a centipede of the same species given to him by his father, my grandfather, when he was around the same age as a pet and Manuel felt I was ready for this awesome responsibility.  Uncle Manuel said that if you could take care of a giant centipede then children and for that matter any task, was easy after that.  I have never had children period but perhaps this is true.

Their first few years with Curly were not easy.  I was bitten several times and had to be rushed to the hospital.  One of the more unpleasant aspects of being bit by Curly was the fact that your heart goes into cardiac arrest which makes your heart slow down to almost nothing and you feel like your soul is descending into the ground and even the underworld.  Fortunately, after the fifth or sixth bite, you develop some immunity to the venom.  You still feel like you are going to die but you at least have enough strength to inject the anti-venom serum into your heart without help and in a day or two you are just fine.

Luckily, Curly mellowed with age. After fifteen years of living together, Curly became a lot less aggressive towards me.  Curly also got a lot bigger!  A normal Peruvian giant yellow-leg centipede is about a foot long but after fifteen years Curly was almost two feet long.  The Peruvian giant yellow-leg centipede lives about five years in the wild and as long as ten years in captivity but if you give them our very secret Peruvian family recipe of herbs and spices then the centipedes can live a lot longer.

I cannot give the details of the recipe except to say Peru is bordered on one side by the Andes and the other side by the Amazon and because of this many botanical miracles can be found in Peru and nowhere else.  Some plants may not have even originated on our planet but may be deliberate hybrids between planets.  Shine an ultra violet lamp and shine that lamp on any jungle or field in the world, except Peru, then nothing will glow in the dark.  If you do the same experiment in Peru then you will become aware that some plants seem identical even using current DNA analysis to other plants but are in fact very different!

Actually no one in my family knows how long a centipede can live if they eat our special recipe.  Chulito, my uncle Manuel’s pet centipede, died when she was 55 years of age but only because she had wandered out into the street and been run over by a bus.  Chulito had grown to an amazing five feet in length and many a dog and cat disappearance, in the neighborhood my uncle lived in, was blamed on Chulito.

My uncle was always adamant that Chulito was innocent. My uncle claimed the stories of Chulito were lies by the communists who resented his Freemason connections. According to my uncle the communists said he had used his connections to stop the communists from erecting a statue of Karl Mark in the Park of the Exposition in Lima.

There was actually a great deal of eye witness testimony that the bus driver swerved in order to hit the centipede and had loudly said after the act that he had done what he had done in order to “matar el monstruo, matador de gatos y perros”, kill the monster, killer of cats and dogs.  Both criminal charges and a civil suit brought by my uncle against the bus driver failed because apparently centipedes are not protected under Peruvian law.

The funeral was dignified.  As the inheritor of the family tradition of the pet centipede, I of course asked for a leave of absence from my ESL teaching job in Houston and went to Lima to attend the funeral.  A coffin generally used for a dog was used.  My uncle had wanted to get a metal hermetically sealed steel coffin but my aunt had insisted that a wooden coffin was more than enough for a centipede.  The wooden coffin cost around fifty dollars.  The steel coffin would have cost almost two thousand dollars!

An informal, low key, pet cemetery on unconsecrated ground exists behind the Convento de San Francisco for Limeños of a certain social standing and Chulito was buried between a parrot that was famous for singing the national anthem of Peru albeit badly according to my aunt and a rooster that had been the fiercest fighter on the cock fighting circuit of Lima in the year of 1937.  The owner of the rooster had been an unabashed fascist and had named the rooster Mussolini.  The parrot was named José de la Torre Ugarte y Alarcón after the musician who had composed the Peruvian national anthem.  As a rule only pets of distinction above and beyond affection are given formal funerals in Lima.  I felt sad that Chulito had such a common name compared to her neighbors but I also felt glad she had such illustrious company.

A representative of the Museo Nacional Arqueología, Antropología e Historia Perú was in attendance and made one final appeal before the burial to donate the centipede body to the museum but offered very little in the way of money and instead appealed to my uncle’s sense of national honor.  In the year 2,006, a representative of Ripley’s Believe It or Not offered the fantastic sum of 10,000 dollars for the centipede body and the coffin was disinterred.

However, the wooden coffin fell into pieces as it was raised from the ground.  Mold, rot and insects had destroyed the coffin and the contents were beyond recognition.  My uncle cursed himself for not getting a better coffin for his old friend when he had the chance. The metal coffin would have cost two thousand dollars so an intact centipede body would have yielded a profit of eight thousand dollars.  After that day, whenever my aunt tried to make a point forcibly, my uncle would say, “Remember the wooden coffin of Chulito!”

The Chulito remark had the cumulative effect of causing my aunt Zoila to briefly consult a professor of psychology at San Marcos University that had been her classmate years earlier and was a psychoanalyst.  The problem is that the poor doctor could never quite understand that the centipede was an actual centipede rather than some opaque way of referring to my uncle’s penis. This led to my aunts often said observation that some of the stupidest people in the world are some of the most educated people in the world.  Later my aunt hopelessly tried to create some sort of theory that perhaps education actually in some ways and is some cases caused stupidity.  However, my aunt was a very busy woman and always focused on keeping the house clean and the meals going since she was the nucleus of our extended family and theory did not feed children so her theory never got very far except in my own mind.

I later received a doctorate and read Malinowski.  I ultimately came to the conclusion that what is magic (nonsense that has societal sanction and passes for knowledge) and what is science (useful knowledge) is often known in hindsight.  I inherited the centipede from my uncle.  I inherited a suspicion of over-education from my aunt.  In both cases, I inherited a suspicion of theory.  I also came to the conclusion that just saying theory was useless was also useless.  Men form theories and that’s that.  I liked what Dewey had to say about theory.  You should reject particular theories but not the enterprise of theory building per se.  I have a theory of theories and its pragmatism.  You build new theories based on new evidence.

This murder/accident (?) that involved Chulito led to an ongoing feud between our family and the Ramdenk family of the bus driver.  The Ramdenks immigrated to Peru from Romania in the 1880’s and have always been in the business of group transport.  They started in the coach trade and moved into the bus trade later.   If you rode a bus in Lima in the last hundred years then your bus driver was probably some relative or crony of the Ramdenks.  There is an unusual strain of both albinism and dwarfism in Ramdenk gene pool so you are more likely to have an albino dwarf as your bus driver in Lima than in any other country in the world which I think adds to the local charm of Lima.

One Ramdenk did not want to be a bus driver and opened a Romanian restaurant in Lima in the 1960’s.  The restaurant failed a few years later due to a lack of interest in Romanian food in Lima. This particular Ramdenk committed suicide by eating gogoşi, a type of Romanian doughnut, mixed with opium.  Generally, this form of suicide was reserved for Romanian aristocracy.  This upstart form of suicide confirmed the suspicion among the Ramdenks that the fellow thought he was better than the family.  So the Romanian restaurateur became a cautionary tale to other Ramdenks who wanted to be more than bus drivers.  They say that if you walk in the area of the Hospital Almenara, where the Romanian restaurateur ultimately died, in Lima during a full moon then you will occasionally see an opiated albino ghost eating a donut muttering in Romanian.

The upshot of the feud is that members of my family in Lima do not ride on buses and walk much more than other Peruvians of their station.  The local truism is that because of all this walking, members of my family have enormous muscular legs and in fact the women in my family are known throughout Lima for having exceptionally shapely legs so perhaps something good did come out of the death of poor Chulito!

But I digress, as I stated previously, after about 15 years the Peruvian giant yellow-leg centipede starts to mellow and stops trying to kill you.  My own explanation is that the brain of the centipede gets bigger and bigger brains mean smarter centipedes.  The centipede starts to realize you are a consistent source of food and in turn tries to protect you rather than try to kill you!  This is great on the few occasions a dog tries to bite you since a two foot centipede can take down even a German Sheppard with a single bite in under 30 seconds but unfortunately the Peruvian giant yellow-leg centipede will attack any girl that tries to touch you much less kiss you.  This means that when you have girlfriends over then you need to make sure your centipede is safely locked up and this is not easy to do.

A two foot centipede will break the glass of most normal terrariums.  The two foot centipede will just ram the same area of the terrarium again and again.  The centipede prefers using a pebble but will use its own head if pebbles are not available.  This process may take weeks but centipedes are stubborn creatures.  I suppose learning how to use all those legs early on makes them stubborn.

What you really need is a terrarium made of toughed glass.  You will need to have this terrarium custom made since no one manufactures terrariums made of toughed glass normally.  Cages would be strong enough but a centipede can easily slip out of cages that a snake of the same size could not!  I would also suggest not letting your girlfriend, to be, know about your giant centipede until the relationship has matured.  Many women do not want to spend the night in an apartment that also houses a two foot centipede.  Fast forward!

Well its 2013 and Curly is 41!  Curly is almost three feet long and is still growing! Curly has been costly financially.  The costs include hospital visits due to bites, law suits related to missing cats and dogs, having to move constantly because of harassment from neighbors about Curly and the specialized terrariums.

Curly has also been costly in terms of relationships because I have never been lucky enough to find a woman that will accept a giant centipede as part of the romantic package.  I have tried again and again to make sure Curly stays in the terrarium but somehow Curly knows when there is a woman in the house and miraculously gets out of the best built terrarium and the woman invariably gets bit.

I now keep anti-venom in the fridge and am quite expert in injecting the anti-venom into the heart directly which means the lady in question is totally safe and will recover in a day or two but these incidents just about almost always lead to a break up and/or a law suit.  However, when Curly is cold then Curly will wrap himself around my neck and tickle my ears with his antennae affectionately and that’s when I know that I have made the right decision to keep Curly as a pet despite the costs!  I look into his brown compound eyes and I see love!  Curly loves me and I love Curly and it’s just that simple.

So in conclusion, I think a Peruvian giant yellow-leg centipede can make a great pet!

The audience for this article is farang living in Bangsaen.  The Sriracha Tiger Zoo is a great way for someone from Bangsaen to spend an afternoon.  Burapha University is in Bangsaen and more and more visitors from many countries find themselves learning and/or teaching at Burapha University.  You go to the zoo to get three pictures in particular.  The first and most important picture is with a tiger cub!  There are two places to do this.  One has a nicer backdrop and an older cub.  The other one has a backdrop that is not as nice but the cub is younger.  I went for the younger cub since the backdrop doesn’t matter much anyway.  As of July 20^th 2013, a farang pays 450 baht to get in and a Thai pays 180 baht to get in.  The picture with the tiger cub is an extra 150 baht but they print out the picture there and then and the quality of all such pictures at the Sriracha Tiger Zoo is excellent.  I did have some pictures taken with my digital camera but their scanned picture which can be seen above was far better.

The second must get picture is with the Scorpion Queen (pictured above).  I have seen this sort of thing before but was never tempted.  Generally some bozo in a T-Shirt is putting the scorpions on you.  The Scorpion Queen is a lot better than some bozo.  The lovely lady put about six scorpions on me and unfortunately the scorpions are black as was my Hawaiian shirt so I recommend wearing a lighter shirt so the scorpions are more visible.  There is a rumor that tigers don’t like red or orange so pick a color other than black, red or orange for your shirt that day.  Some Thai ladies had outfits with tiger prints on.

The third must get picture is with the crocodile (pictured above).  Again you will run into this sort of picture set up all over Thailand but this crocodile was special.  The crocodile is gigantic and I have seen a lot of crocodiles while living in Thailand!  You use your own camera but it’s only a 100 baht versus the usual 150 baht.

If you want pictures with wild animals then there are plenty of places that provide this service in Thailand.  Pattaya has Nong Nooch Tropical Botanical Garden and Bangkok has Samutprakarn Crocodile Farm and Zoo that are similar to the Sriracha Tiger Zoo but both are not day trips from Bangsaen so if you are looking for some afternoon fun from Bangsaen then the Sriracha Tiger Zoo is the way to go.  The Sriracha Tiger Zoo website mentions their food but this is not why I would go there.

If you are hungry then I would recommend the Saturday buffet at the Pacific Park Hotel restaurant which starts at 6 pm which is when the zoo closes!  The buffet is 300 baht per person and features Japanese, Thai and Western dishes.  Sriracha is home to various Japanese factories and has many Japanese workers and expats living in Sriracha but finding a good reasonable Japanese restaurant that is gaijin friendly is actually not easy.  I would recommend the Zenmaru Udon restaurant pictured below for price and atmosphere.

They have little Japanese style rooms upstairs with a lot of ambience and I would order the chicken cutlet, with noodles under the cutlet and curry on the cutlet, but they just call it the curry dish.  The menu has pictures so just look for a breaded cutlet and you will do ok.  You can get more exotic Japanese food that is generally not available in more touristy Japanese restaurants but some of this food is too exotic and pricey but hey you only live once.  However, no Japanese beers at Zenmaru Udon!  Heineken and local Thai beers are available.  Zenmaru Udon is just down the street from the Pacific Park Hotel and if you pass a hospital then you have walked just past the restaurant.  The Pacific Park Hotel is in turn right next to the Sriracha Robinson which is also a lot of fun.

AdornPic is a new free online photo effect website.  The site will paste your photo into an existing online photo.  You could probably do this pretty easily with a photo editor and this effect is all over the web.  If you like this effect then you should try Funnwow, Funphotobox, JPGFun, LoonaPix, Pato.pl, Pho.to, Photo 505, PhotoFaceFun, and Wishafriend.  On this site, the effect is not particularly varied or impressive and includes character pictures, nature pictures, indoor pictures, magazine pictures, and outdoor pictures.

1) Characters

2) Nature

3) Indoor

4) Magazines

5) Outdoor

The nature effect is probably the most interesting of the standard stick your photo into an online photo effect.  The face-in-the-hole effect in which your face is substituted for that of a celebrity is done very poorly since there are no easy to use mouse controlled alignment and resizing tools. You can move your portrait a bit but not much and the resizing is difficult to do and again not mouse driven.  For example, FXMagic does a much better job of the face-in-the-hole effect than AdornPic due to the use of mouse controlled tools.  I played with this effect for a bit and skipped the effect in the end due to the poor results.

AdornPic has online filters.  Rollip does the same sort of thing and has more filters than AdornPic.  BeFunky, Tuxpi, Phixr and fotor also have lots of online filters.  Lomo filters seem to be especially popular online.  However, the colorful “light filters” on AdornPic are a new addition to this sort of effect online:

6) Filters

AdornPic has tons of stickers which are photos stuck onto your standard photo and does this better than any other site online including Ribbet.  Ribbet might have more stickers but AdornPic has better stickers!  Doing the sticker effect would be incredibly hard with a photo editor.  You would have to cut a complex shape out and paste it.  You would have a hard time doing this with a mouse and would probably need to use a drawing pad and even with a drawing pad this task would be very hard to do and time consuming.  AdornPic does use stickers in an impressive and unique way.  The special stickers include crowns, glasses, hair, hats, helmets and masks.  There are lots of other stickers but they are not as impressive and I skipped applying them.

7) Crowns

8) Glasses

9) Hair

10) Hats

11) Helmets

12) Masks

You might want to skip the standard effects and play with the stickers instead!  A survey of older and more established online photo effect sites at:

http://foxhugh.wordpress.com/2010/10/15/photo-effects/

1) fuen yim – The rigid smile, furthermore known as the “I should laugh at the joke although it’s not funny” Smile. – ฝืนยิ้ม

2) yim cheua-cheuan – I am the winner smile, usually given to a losing competitor-ยิ้มเชิญชวน

3) yim cheun chom – The admiring smile – ยิ้มชื่นชม

4) yim haeng – The dry smile. “I know I owe you money, but I don’t have it” smile. – ยิ้มแห้ง

5) yim hairng – The nervous, apologetic smile – ยิ้มแห้ง

6) yim mai ork – The forced smile – ยิ้มไม่ออก

7) yim mee lay-nai – The evil smile – ิยิ้มมีเลศนัย

8) yim mee lessanai – Masking something immoral in your mind Smile.- ยิ้มมีเลศนัย

9) yim sao – The smile masking sadness or unhappiness – ยิ้มเศร้า

10) yim soo – The “it-cannot-get-any-worse-therefore-I-better-smile” smile – ยิ้มสู้

11) yim thak thaai – Polite smile for someone you barely know.- ยิ้มทักทาย

12) yim thak thaan – I disagree with you smile. Also known as the: You can go ahead and propose it but your idea’s no good” smile.- ยิ้มคัดค้าน

13) yim thang nam taa – I’m so happy I’m crying smile.- ยิ้มทั้งน้ำตา

14) yim yae-yae – I know things look pretty bad, but there is no point in crying over spilt milk; smile.- ยิ้มแหยะแหยะ

15) yim yair-yair – The smile to apologize and take the heat out of an awkward, embarrassing situation – ยิ้มแหย ๆ

16) yim yaw – The mockery or; told you so smile. – ยิ้มเย้ย

17) yim yor – The arrogant smile – ยิ้มเยาะ

Various researchers have contrasted positive and negative emotions including Robinson (2009).

The more widely used Plutchik’s wheel of emotions also dichotomizes emotions.

Other researchers have also noted that there is a relationship between emotions and culture. Some cultures are more animated and allow for greater display of emotion (animated).  Some cultures have rules that call for less display of emotion.  Generally the cultural rules governing display of emotion are called display rules.  If one combines the two concepts then a two dimensional model of emotional display can be created as shown in the table below.

My own experience would suggest that in Thai culture 1 and 4 are the foundations of their display rules.  Thais are encouraged to smile but are discouraged from showing negative emotions especially anger.  Chinese use 2 and 4 as the foundation of their display rules.  Chinese culture tends to encourage its members not to display positive or negative emotions.   Latinos occupy the 1 and 3 quadrants.  Latinos are more likely to display both positive and negative emotions.

References

Robinson, D. L. (2009). Brain function, mental experience and personality. The Netherlands Journal of Psychology, 64, 152–167″.

Document at:

http://www.scribd.com/doc/172673884/Two-Dimensional-Model-of-Emotional-Display-Document